i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
