My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
