My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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