jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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