I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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