Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
