I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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