Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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