There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
