My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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