OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Your cock deserves a montage
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
