No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Be still, my beating vagina.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize