There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
