Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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