Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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