We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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