This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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