so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
