i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
