As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
