Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize