I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
