I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
