At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
