I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
