my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
