I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
