Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
