I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
