Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
