this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I had to cum in my sink.
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