I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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