Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
