do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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