he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
