one two three fourrrrnication!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she peed on how many people?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
