She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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