Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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