I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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