When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
