he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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