You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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