babies were throwing up all over the place
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
