I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
