I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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