Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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