My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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