I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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