I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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