They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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