I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Little spoons don't ask big questions
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
