why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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