Pants 0. Shit 1.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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