so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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