Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
