he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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