You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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