love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Enjoy the penises
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
