planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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