yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize