You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
