carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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