wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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