I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
