is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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